Turn, Turn, Turn
by writermarie
Summary: Part Two of the Early Jed/Abbey Series: "To everything there is a season...a purpose under heaven."


Title: "Turn, Turn, Turn" Part 1/?   
Sequel to the "The Times They are a Changin'" series  
Author: Marie Rossiter (writermarie2002@yahoo.com)

Category: Jed/Abbey [early]  
Summary: "To everything there is a season..."  
Feedback: always welcome  
Disclaimers: The usual. None of these characters are mine, so   
please no legal   
threats!  
Spoilers: None  
  
Time: Summer 1966 through Summer 1967  
Location: various  
  
August 5, 1966  
  
Dear Abbey,  
First, let me apologize for taking so long in writing to you.   
I have no excuse, other than I haven't been exactly sure of what to   
say to you. I have to admit that I was surprised that you wanted me   
to write to you. When I found your address in my hand, I felt sort of   
bad that I hadn't thought of asking you to keep in touch. Yet, I was   
extremely glad that you thought of it. We may not have started off on   
the right foot, but I think in the short time we've known one another,   
we've started a good friendship. I hope it's o.k. for me to say that.  
Anyway, things back here in Notre Dame are good. I like the   
solitude here during the summer. I have lots of things to think about   
before the next term. While my time in Cape Cod was short, it planted   
a number of seeds in my mind regarding my realizing that I need to   
carefully consider my future. The commitment I am planning on making   
is extremely serious, and I need to make sure that I'm up to the task.  
So, how are things at home? Were your folks happy to see you?   
I hope that your trip went well and that you are enjoying the rest of   
your summer.  
No word from Leo, yet. I'm hoping to hear something soon.  
Well, I should go. You now have my address; so if you want to   
write, feel free. I love getting mail!  
Take care of yourself.   
  
Sincerely, Jed Bartlet  
  
  
  
  
  
August 22, 1966  
  
Dear Jed,  
Well, I was surprised to receive your letter. I wasn't even   
sure that I should have given you my address. I didn't want to give   
you the wrong idea. However, after careful thought, I decided that we   
had barely had the chance to get to know each other, so perhaps by   
writing to one another, we could get better acquainted despite the   
long distance between us. Besides, you need someone to keep your head   
screwed on straight (ha-ha only kidding!)  
Seriously, though, having questions and doubts about your   
future is normal. I've told you before that I think your aspirations   
are admirable, as long as that's what you truly believe you want to   
do. I'm a big believer in following your heart, Jed. Your heart   
rarely leads you astray. The mind, however, is entirely too   
complicated and gets in the way most of the time. So, if your heart   
is telling you to take the vows of priesthood, listen to what it says.   
If your heart is not in it, it's not fair to you, to your future   
parishioners and mostly, to God.  
Oh, I received a call from Ron not long after I arrived home.   
He wants to come down to visit me. Apparently, he's having second   
thoughts about our "seeing other people". I'm tempted to have him   
come down, but I'm not sure if I'd welcome him home with open arms, or   
if I'd slap his face for him. I allowed myself to get hurt by him:   
something I haven't allowed to happen ever before. I'm not sure love   
is worth all of that. I'm still debating. My parents like him, and   
there aren't many men in this world that are decent AND that your   
parents actually approve of.  
I hope that you're managing to have some fun out there, Notre   
Dame. You are too young to be so damn old. I'm sure that with your   
seminary training, you study Latin. So, let me offer you a simple   
piece of advice in the native language of the Church: CARPE DIEM. I   
don't think I should have to translate that for you, but I will gently   
remind you to take everything from each day that you can, because it   
only comes around once. You can't go back.  
O.k., I've rambled on enough. I'll close here. I'm sure that   
once classes start, you'll be too busy to write to your "pain in the   
ass" in-the-flesh conscience. Well, I'll just have to wait and see.   
  
All the best,  
Abbey  
  
P.S. I'll keep you posted on the Ron situation.  
September 12, 1966  
  
Dear Abbey,  
  
And you thought I wouldn't write once school started up...I'm writing   
to you at your school address, figuring you're there now and not still   
at home. I hope this gets to you.  
  
Thank you for writing back to me. I think I told you in my first   
letter that I really enjoy getting mail. I don't receive a lot of   
correspondence from home and I don't have a ton of friends up here. I   
can hear your voice echoing in my head, "Well, Jed, stop sitting on   
your ass and get out there and make some friends!" It's hard for me,   
Abbey. Leo has been my friend for years and years-he's the only one   
who "gets" me, and believe it or not, he's still my friend! My love   
of books makes me seem standoff-ish. I enjoy spending time with   
people, but oftentimes, I just don't feel like I fit in. It shouldn't   
rattle me the way it does, I know. When it comes to books or classes,   
I'm very confident. When it comes to the day-to-day living, I'm not   
so sharp.  
  
As for why I don't receive mail from home, that's a whole different   
story. Maybe I'll tell you about it sometime, but it's too long to   
write in a single letter.  
  
There's still no word from Leo. By my calculations, he should be just   
about out of Basic Training and on his way over to the East. I pray   
each night for him. I still think he's crazy for what he's done, but   
I've learned to never try to control Leo McGarry.  
  
So, did Ron ever come down to see you? I confess that I was a little   
shocked that you would even consider making up with him. After what   
he did to you in Cape Cod, he doesn't deserve a second chance. Does   
that sound petty and unforgiving? Perhaps it does. I know it's not   
the Christian way of thinking, but I'm simply trying to be honest with   
you.   
  
I remember seeing you on the beach and how angry and upset you were   
that night. That was the night you and I really "talked" for the   
first time. It was also the first time that I thought that you were a   
person with a tremendous capacity for love. (Yes, I hear you barking   
at me that you've given up on love.) Your anger and tears stemmed   
from love, Abbey. But, I don't think that love should be like that.   
Love isn't all music and happiness and moonlight, but it is something   
that we, as people, should be able to lean on and trust implicitly.   
In my opinion, Ron violated that trust. It's hard to earn trust like   
that again.  
  
Of course, you're a very sensible girl, Abbey. I know that even   
though you say the mind is overly complicated and gets in the way of   
things, you have a great deal of common sense and intelligence. The   
heart should lead the way, yes, but the mind does help to clear the   
path.  
  
I hope that school has started on an up note for you. And, just so   
you know, I pray for your instructors, as well, each night. Lord only   
knows how they can deal with a mind and tongue such as yours. I   
certainly wouldn't want to argue with you in a classroom! Although,   
it might prove to be an interesting challenge! (ha ha ha)  
  
I hope to hear from you soon.  
  
Sincerely yours,  
Jed  
  
  
September 30, 1966  
  
Dear Jed,  
  
Well, I can see that once a person gets to know you a little bit, you   
have little hesitation in sharing your views. I must say I'm   
intrigued. I wasn't 100% sure you had that type of conviction in you,   
Notre Dame. I guess even I can be proven wrong once in a blue moon.  
  
Have you heard anything from Leo, yet? I ran into Jenny while I was   
in downtown Boston last weekend. She's talked to him on the phone   
once and said that he seems fine. He told her to get in touch with   
you to let you know that he's been too busy to write and that he   
promises he'll make the time, now that Basic was coming to an end.   
I'm hoping that by now, he has sent you word.  
  
I'm still trying to absorb your last letter. I find it odd that   
someone as articulate as you has a problem with socializing. Others   
see you as stuck up because that is the mask you wear. If I recall, I   
told you on the night we met to loosen up. I think you have a lot of   
potential, Jed Bartlet. Let others see the real you, and you may   
actually get somewhere in this life.  
And, one day, I hope that you will look back and say, "Hey, I remember   
that girl in Cape Cod who gave me crap...she helped to get me here."  
I think you were pretty hard on Ron in your last letter. Does that   
mean I think what he did was right? Hell no! But, he didn't do   
anything so awful that I couldn't forgive him. Yes, I was upset at   
him. I was hurt. But, life is too short to hold grudges and I have   
forgiven him. But, I told him that I couldn't trust our feelings for   
each other any more, and that I thought it was best that we stay good   
friends. I guess that's one thing that you and I agree on, Jed.  
  
School is incredibly hard, but so far, I'm pulling all A's in my   
classes. Midterms are coming up in a few weeks and I'm already   
cramming for them. Not everyone can be a genius like you are!  
  
Let me know about Leo. I probably won't be writing for a while, at   
least not until after midterms.  
  
Take care of yourself and I'll talk to you soon.  
  
Yours truly,  
Abbey

Part Two

Time: Summer 1966 through Summer 1967  
Location: various  
  
October 20, 1966  
  
Dear Abbey,  
  
Sorry it has taken so long to write, but midterms have just ended here   
at school and time has really slipped away from me. To be honest, I   
have started two letters to you before now, but each time I started   
one, too many days would pass before I picked it up again, so I'd have   
to start over. So, hopefully, the third time will be the charm.  
  
Not even two days after receiving your letter, I received one from   
Jenny and a postcard from Leo. Both are doing fine, thankfully. I   
can tell Jenny is lonely, even though she's trying to put on a brave   
face in her letter. As for Leo, he survived Basic training and should   
be over in Vietnam by now. It will probably be quite some time before   
I hear him again, but I try to drop him a letter at least once a week   
to him. That way, I feel like we're still connected.  
  
You made a comment about my opening up to you. I guess that is true.   
I'm not sure why I did that in my last letter; it just seemed   
natural, I guess. For some inexplicable reason, I feel that I can   
trust you. Who had thought I'd feel that way after our rocky start.   
It's good to know that there is someone in my life who will always be   
honest with me-not to be hurtful or spiteful, but because (presumably)   
she cares about what happens to me. I suppose that is why I said the   
things I did in my last letter. I want to be honest with you because   
I care about what happens to you.  
  
Midterms were hell (yes, I said it), but I'm still here. I'm still   
prepping for the seminary; however, I'm still uncertain about what   
direction I will ultimately go in. I do know that I love my economics   
class that I am taking this term. It is fascinating to see how our   
system of finance works and how it compares to others. I never   
realized how intricate the almighty dollar could be. If all continues   
to go well with this class, I may decide to take another elective next   
term, just for fun. I know what you're saying, Abbey: economics fun?   
You're out of your mind. Well, we've known that from the start.  
  
So, what's going on with you, Ms. Future Doctor? I'm sure you've aced   
all your midterms and celebrating in style. Any new men to speak of   
in your life? Am I being nosy? Yep. But, after all, I have to live   
vicariously through someone, right? All the guys around here are   
interested in is a roll in the hay. I hear it's a good time, but it   
seems to me to be short-lived. Where's the fun in that? I'd much   
rather have a close relationship with someone I respect and can really   
talk to, than simply relating to someone solely with my body. Maybe   
that's why I value the relationship that you and I have now. What we   
share seems to be even more intimate than sex.  
  
Wow. Have I stepped over the line? If I have, I'm sorry, Abbey.   
But, I'm simply trying to follow your own advice: Carpe Diem. I   
wanted to make sure I told you that before I chickened out.   
Hopefully, I won't chicken out in mailing this out to you now.   
Hopefully, you'll still keep writing to me.  
  
Well, dinnertime has arrived and my stomach is telling me loudly that   
I should head over to the cafeteria. I hope to hear from you soon.   
Believe it or not, Abbey, I miss you. You're quickly becoming one of   
the best friends I have.  
  
Yours truly,  
Jed  
  
  
  
  
October 31, 1966  
  
Dear Jed,  
  
Happy Halloween! I hope that the ghosts and goblins haven't gotten   
to you!  
  
Why would you think that I wouldn't write you back, Notre Dame? How   
many times do I have to tell you that as long as long as you are   
honest, you have no reason to be ashamed? Will you never learn? You   
know, for a scholar, you really are a poor student sometimes.  
  
I, too, consider you to be a very dear friend now, Jed. I never   
thought that someone who can drive me so insane can be someone that I   
can tell just about anything to. I guess you and I have more in   
common than I could have imagined.   
  
There's still so much that I don't know about you, Jed. You still   
haven't told me about your family much, and I want to know more about   
you than school. I know that there is more about you than meets the   
eye.  
  
So, you like economics. I knew you were a head case from the moment I   
met you in Cape Cod. Although, to be fair, most of my friends think   
I'm a head case because I'm fascinated with organs, body parts and   
blood. Most of my friends are into reading Emily Bronte, Ginsberg and   
listening to The Beatles. Ok, ok, I like The Beatles, too-but I'm not   
a fanatic about them or anything.  
  
No, there are no "new men" in my life, Jed. I've told you countless   
times before, I'm not interested in love or relationships like that   
anymore. I have too much work to do here and so little time to invest   
in the other. It's not worth the sacrifice.  
  
I guess that sounds really cold and unfeeling. I don't mean to be   
that way. I just find that it's easier than getting hurt. I value my   
time very much and there are few people in this world that I want to   
place that much emphasis upon. I have a few good friends here that I   
care deeply about. Of course, there's my family, who mean the world   
to me. Other than that, there isn't much of anyone else that I am   
that close to: with the exception of you, I suppose. Does that   
surprise you, Jed Bartlet?   
  
Well, I am off to a Halloween party with the few friends I do have   
here. Fortunately, I don't have to dress up in a costume. No cracks   
about dressing up like the wicked witch, Notre Dame!  
  
I'm looking forward to you next letter. Until then, I remain  
  
Sincerely yours,  
Abbey

Part Three

Time: Summer 1966 through Summer 1967  
Location: various  
  
November 10, 1966  
  
Dear Jed,  
  
Hey, I haven't heard from you in a while.   
  
Maybe it's because you're out there taking my advice and whooping it   
up with all of the new friends you're making.  
  
Or it could be that you're being a stuck up pretentious snob...just   
kidding, Notre Dame.  
  
So really, what's going on with you? Is everything o.k.?  
  
It seems hard to believe that Thanksgiving is right around the corner.   
Another year just about shot to Hell. Oh, well. What can you do?  
  
Are you going home for Thanksgiving? I'm heading back to the family   
abode, of course. We always do up the holidays at our house. I hate   
to admit it, but I love it. A long weekend at home and then I only   
have a few weeks until finals. This semester is flying by.  
  
I hope I hear from you soon. I miss seeing your letters when I go get   
the mail. I hope everything is all right. Whatever is going on, you   
know that you can talk to me. At least, you'd better know that by   
now.  
  
Please take care of yourself, Jed. Write me soon.  
  
Yours truly,  
Abbey  
November 21, 1966  
  
Dear Abbey,  
  
Are you still speaking to me? I've been such a jerk in not writing to   
you lately. There have been a lot of things going on here, and I've   
been sort of preoccupied lately.   
  
Doubts are filling my head about the priesthood more and more, Abbey.   
I feel like a failure. I'm finding that I love economics the way   
that I used to love religion. I'm starting to question my own ability   
to make a solid decision anymore. How could I even consider walking   
away from something I've dedicated years to preparing for? I guess   
maybe my father was right about me after all: I don't know what I   
want or what my place is in this world.  
  
No, I'm not going home for Thanksgiving. I've got finals to study for   
and I really have no desire to go home and have my father gloat over   
the fact that The Prodigal Son is coming apart at the seams.  
  
I'm so happy that you are going home for the holiday. You deserve to   
take some time for yourself. You spend a lot of time looking out for   
others-you need to go home and get some good home cooking and spend   
time with those who love you. Honestly speaking, I envy you and your   
family. Cherish what you have, Abbey.  
  
I hope that I haven't messed things up between the two of us by   
ignoring you. That's one failure I'm not sure I could deal with,   
either.  
  
So, if you're not too angry with me, write when you get back to school   
after the short break. I'll be thinking about you. Travel safely.  
  
Your friend,  
Jed  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
-----------------------------------------------------  
Abbey put the letter down on her bed as soon as she finished reading   
it. She sat in silence for a while, not moving from her spot. Her   
roommate looked over at her.   
"Hey Abbey, everything ok?"  
"Yeah," Abbey said unconvincingly.  
"Did you get bad news in the mail?"  
Abbey sighed, "Sort of."  
"Anything I can do to help?" her roommate asked.  
"No. Thanks though." Abbey stood up and walked out of her dorm room.   
She headed down the hall and stopped at the pay phone in the middle   
of the corridor. She took a seat and dialed the phone. After two   
rings, the line on the other end picked up...  
"Hello?" the voice said.  
"Daddy?" Abbey said softly. "I need to change my plans for   
Thanksgiving."

Part Four

Time: Summer 1966 through Summer 1967  
Location: various  
  
FROM THE JOURNAL OF JOSIAH BARTLET  
  
November 24, 1966 Thanksgiving Day  
  
All is quiet here again today. It's amazing how quickly this place   
empties out during the holiday break. I'm grateful that I'm able to   
stay here and have some time to myself.  
  
I mailed my latest letter to Abbey yesterday. I pray that she'll   
respond. I've come to depend on those letters from her. I'm afraid,   
though, that I may have screwed everything up. I haven't been doing a   
very good job in keeping up with our correspondence. What a damn fool   
I am!  
  
Abbey's been asking more and more about the family lately. Of course,   
I've been avoiding the topic as much as I can. How can I explain to   
her that my father is an insecure, yet pompous jackass who has no   
appreciation for his wife or his kids? How do I tell her that   
whenever I think of him, I feel a sense of rage that makes me want to   
slug him? Nothing I did was ever good enough for him and he manages   
to take the joy out of even the most wonderful things...I excelled in   
the very school where he was the Headmaster? Did that matter? No.   
How can I expect Abbey to understand this when I can even understand   
it myself?  
  
Listen to me...I sound like a whiny child. Here it is, Thanksgiving   
Day, and I have yet to express my gratitude for the good things in my   
life. Forgive me God...Thank You for each day that you allow me to   
get up and breath, for the desire to learn and reach the highest   
potential I can, for my friends Leo and Jenny-who really need You more   
than I do right now-thanks for keeping them safe, at least for now.   
There are many other things for which I am grateful: too many to list   
them all, but You know that I am grateful for all You do.  
  
And, finally, thank You for bringing Abbey into my life. I know that,   
at first, I certainly wasn't saying that, but now, I realize that   
sometimes those that challenge us and make us think the most are the   
ones that we need to keep close to us-even if it does frustrate us   
from time to time. You brought her into my life for a reason, and I   
am eternally grateful for the opportunity to get to know this young   
woman.   
  
Jed set down the pen and placed his head in his hands. He was tired   
and, truth be told, lonely. He thought that maybe he should have gone   
home, after all. Sure, things weren't great there, but at least he   
would have been able to see his mother. Despite all of the "less than   
ideal" events that had transpired in the Bartlet home, Jed still held   
a special place in his heart for his mother. He never said that, in   
so many words, but he felt as though his mom got the idea anyway.  
A moment later, there was a knock on his dorm room door. He slowly   
stood up and moved to the door. Upon opening it, he saw one of the   
janitorial staff standing there.  
"You Bartlet?" the old man asked gruffly.  
Jed stood there, confused.  
"Well, are you?" the janitor demanded.  
"Uh, yeah," Jed stammered.  
"You've got a visitor," the man said, clearly annoyed by the fact that   
playing doorman was taking away valuable time from his job.  
"A visitor? I'm not expecting one," Jed said aloud, more to himself   
than to the messenger.   
"Well, I could care less, son. She's downstairs waiting for you."   
With that, the old man went on his way, back to his own business at   
hand.  
Jed stood in his doorway in wonder. Who would be here visiting him?   
And, the man said it was a 'she'. There are only two people that Jed   
knew that would come out to Notre Dame to visit him like this: Jenny   
or his mom. Jed smiled, grateful for whoever it was at the door. He   
made his way quickly down the flights of stairs. He opened the door   
to the main hallway on the first floor. As he turned the corner, Jed   
stopped dead in his tracks.  
"Abbey?!?" Jed called out in utter disbelief.  
"Well, Notre Dame. See what happens when you don't write to me?"

Part Five

Time: Thanksgiving Day 1966  
Location: various  
  
Jed stood before Abbey, completely stupefied.   
"Speechless, Notre Dame?" Abbey said with a smile. "I must say   
that I'm surprised. I didn't think that was even possible."  
Jed remained motionless and speechless.   
"If this is how I am going to be greeted, Jed, I think I'll go   
home," Abbey teased, turning to walk back out the door.  
"NO! Don't go!" Jed yelled, grabbing Abbey's arm. "I'm   
sorry, Abbey. It's just...It's just...I had no idea it was..." Jed   
trailed off, still stunned at Abbey's presence.  
"Well, you didn't think I was going to let you spend   
Thanksgiving alone, did you?" Abbey demanded.  
"But, what about your family?" Jed asked. "You should be home   
with them."  
"I can see them any time, Jed. How often do I get a chance to   
see one of my closest friends? Besides, I've always wanted to see the   
great state of Indiana."  
"Oh, sure. Indiana is a high tourist draw," Jed mused.  
"Absolutely," Abbey said sarcastically.  
Jed grinned. "So, what do you think of it?"  
"Indiana?" Abbey answered. "Let me put it this way, I like   
the East much better. This place is like a desert with too much cold   
and snow."  
They both laughed out loud.  
"Abbey, I can't believe you're here," Jed said softly.  
"To be honest with you, neither can I. But, after I read your   
last letter, I knew that I had to get out here and pull you out of   
this mood you are in. You're a real drag sometimes, Notre Dame."  
Jed nodded.  
"So, are you going to keep me standing here?" Abbey inquired.  
"Uh, no...but..." Jed replied haltingly. "This is the men's   
only dorm."  
"Ah." Abbey responded. "Well, I need to go check in to a   
hotel anyway, so I can go."  
"No way!" Jed reassured. Jed looked around and thought for a   
moment. He grabbed her by the hand. "Let's go."  
"What are you doing?!" exclaimed Abbey.  
"Ssh!" Jed replied quickly, pulling Abbey down the hall and up   
a back flight of stairs.  
Upon reaching the third floor, Jed quietly opened the door at   
the top of the stairs and peeked outside to make sure no one was   
there. He grabbed Abbey once more and pulled her into his dorm room.  
"Jesus, Jed! You almost pulled my arm out of my socket!"   
Abbey said, half angry and half amused.  
"I'm sorry, Abbey, but I had to make sure to get you up here   
without being seen," Jed responded. "If anyone knows I have you in   
here, I can get in a lot of trouble."  
"Oh, really?" Abbey taunted, making a lunge for the door.   
"This could be fun!"  
"Oh no you don't!" he hollered, grabbing her from behind.  
"What do you think you're doing?" Abbey said in between   
shrieks of laughter.  
"Keep your voice down! Do you want to get caught?" Jed   
implored.  
"Maybe." Abbey answered loudly.  
"What do I have to do to shut you up, Abigail?" Jed said,   
still holding her firmly.  
"Let me go!" Abbey protested playfully.  
"Not until you promise to keep your voice down," Jed demanded.  
"Forget it." Abbey said, pretending to scowl.  
"Well, you can forget me letting you go, then," Jed replied.  
Abbey struggled against Jed, trying to squirm her way out of   
his arms, but she found them surprisingly strong and his movements   
impressively quick.  
"Come on, Jed." Abbey whined.  
"Do you promise?" Jed asked.  
"I promise, I promise, just let me go," Abbey said   
breathlessly.  
Jed lowered Abbey's feet back onto the floor, but didn't let   
her go.  
"You said you'd let me go," Abbey remarked.  
"That's right, I did," Jed answered. He dropped his arms from   
around her body. But Abbey didn't move.  
"Abbey," Jed whispered.  
Abbey's face flushed pink at first, and then the colored   
drained from it completely. "Yes," she managed to get out.  
"You're here," Jed said. He noticed a piece of Abbey's hair   
hanging in her face. He slowly moved his hand up to her cheek and   
softly brushed the hair away from her face.  
"Yes, Jed. I'm here," Abbey responded quietly.  
Neither of them moved from their spot. Jed took his hand and   
placed it behind Abbey's head, running his fingers through her hair.  
"Jed..." Abbey moaned, her voice thick with both desire and   
doubt.  
"Abbey..." Jed replied.  
Their eyes never left each other's. Jed was also feeling   
something stir within him-a mixture of an intense need to kiss Abbey   
and the nagging doubt that the last time he did something like this,   
he got himself into some hot water.   
But, with Abbey, it was different. She wasn't some experiment   
that he had to experience, just to see what it felt like. He wanted to   
be close to her. He wanted to share so much with her.  
In a split second, he decided to take the chance that she felt   
the same way. He leaned in to her, which caused her to lean on the   
door. She looked up at him, her eyes wide and her breathing a little   
bit shallow. She didn't run away or pull away-so Jed decided to move   
in closer.  
"Abbey, I've missed you," Jed said, his voice sounding deep   
and slightly gruff.  
"I've missed you too, Jed," Abbey said, almost in a whisper.  
Jed pressed his body against hers, put his hand under Abbey's   
chin and pulled her into a soft, yet incredibly deep kiss.

Part Six

Time: Thanksgiving Day 1966  
Location: various  
  
  
The kiss seemed to last for hours, but the logical part of   
Jed's mind realized it was probably only about thirty seconds. Jed   
also knew that he wanted to pick up once more from where they left   
off. But as he leaned in once again, Abbey looked into Jed's eyes   
with an unexpected look of sadness.  
"Jed, please. Let's not ruin things, ok?"  
Jed backed off slightly, taken aback by Abbey's remark. "Ruin   
things? Abbey, I thought..."  
"I know, I know," Abbey said. "I'm not blaming you. I gave   
you the wrong idea."  
Jed shook his head at this. "Abbey, you didn't give me the   
wrong idea. It felt more like the right idea to me."  
Abbey moved away from Jed and sat down in one of the chairs in   
the room.  
Jed looked at Abbey with confusion. "I don't understand,   
Abbey. Did I read the signals that unclearly?"  
"No."  
"Then, what?" he asked.  
"I don't know."  
Jed sat down on the bed, across from Abbey.  
"I didn't mean to push you, Abbey," Jed said sincerely.   
"I know that, Jed. I told you that I'm not blaming you."  
"Abbey, you mean a great deal to me. I thought you knew that   
from my letters. I know I've been a jerk lately and haven't kept up   
with writing. I'm not as good with my words as you are, but I don't   
want to do anything to hurt you or upset you."  
Abbey sat there, a tear rolling down her cheek.  
"This wasn't what I had planned, Jed. I planned to come out   
here, cheer you up and go home. I didn't expect to feel..." Then, she   
stopped.  
"To feel what?" Jed asked.  
"Anything...to feel anything. I expected the same thing that   
happened in Cape Cod: just talking and hanging out."  
"I see," Jed replied, trying to mask his disappointment.   
"Jed, what we have is special. I don't want to ruin it by   
complicating it with.... other things."  
"O.k." Jed said quietly.  
They sat in the room silently. Jed stood up and started   
pacing around the room.  
"What did you think I expected the next time I saw you?" Jed   
inquired. "I certainly didn't expect to see you today when I woke up   
this morning. I never thought that I'd 'feel' anything when I saw you   
either, but I 'feel' something, Abbey. I'm tired of running from my   
feelings. For once in my life, I'm going to face up to the things   
that crop up in my life."  
Abbey remained seated, quietly listening to Jed.  
"In the Book of Ecclesiastes, it says, 'For everything there   
is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven. A time to   
love, a time to hate...' Well, I'm sure you know the rest. After all,   
it's a popular song nowadays, apparently."  
Abbey made no response.  
"What I'm trying to say, in my backwards way, is that you're   
here for a purpose and it seems to be our time now. Why squander it?"  
"Jed, I just don't think I can go down this road again," Abbey   
said, tearfully.  
"What are you talking about?"  
"How many times have I told you??? I can't let love in   
anymore. I just can't! I can't let any feelings that I may have   
stand in the way of..."  
"In the way of what, Abbey?"  
"Everything!" Abbey blurted out and then bolted for the door.   
Unfortunately, Jed wasn't quick enough to stop her this time.  
Jed grabbed his jacket and quickly ran out into the courtyard   
area. The snow was starting to come down in earnest by now-an early   
storm was brewing. Classic Midwestern winter weather.  
"ABBEY!" Jed called out.   
There was silence in response to Jed's call. As darkness   
completely covered the campus, Jed noted a figure sitting on one of   
the benches. He ran over.  
"Abbey, please. Come back with me to the room. It's freezing   
out here."  
Abbey sniffed, "I need to find a hotel, Jed."  
"Abbey, I can't imagine you staying alone in a hotel room in a   
strange city. Please. There are two beds in the room. I promise,   
I'll behave myself. Come back with me, please," Jed asked.  
Abbey sighed. She looked at Jed and saw the hurt in his eyes.   
God, that's the last thing she wanted to do.  
"All right," she acquiesced.   
"Come on, let's get you inside. You're freezing." Jed helped   
Abbey up and they made their way back into the dorm. Once again, they   
managed to get to Jed's room undetected.  
Jed shut the door behind them and the two of them brushed the   
snow off of each other.  
"It's turning out to be quite a storm for November. Good   
thing you're here and you're safe," Jed commented.  
"Yes. It's very generous of you to offer me your room to stay   
in, Jed. Thank you."  
"Is there anything you need? Anything I can get you?"  
"Well," Abbey began. "I'll need something to wear to bed. I   
have something, I just don't feel very comfortable wearing it,   
considering the unexpected sleeping arrangements." Abbey blushed   
slightly, as did Jed.  
"Oh, of course," Jed quickly replied, quickly sifting through   
his drawers to find something for his guest to wear. He grabbed one   
of his Notre Dame T-shirts and a pair of sweats. "Will this be all   
right?"  
"Sure," Abbey said. "I'll just go into the bathroom and   
change."  
"I don't think that's a good idea," Jed warned. "Janitorial   
staff is making their evening rounds. How about I head out and get us   
a bite to eat, and you stay here, get changed and make yourself at   
home?" Jed offered.  
"All right," Abbey agreed.  
"O.k. I'll see you in a bit." Jed said with a smile and   
headed out the door.  
As Jed closed the door, he took in a deep breath and let out a   
long exhale. He looked upwards to the ceiling and said to himself,   
"This is a joke, right? Some sort of test?" He couldn't help but   
grin, "Well, all I can say is, 'thanks', I guess." What Jed did know   
was that he wasn't going to push this. For the first time, he knew in   
his heart what "his purpose under heaven" was. He wasn't going to   
scare it (or her) away with his notable impatience. With that   
conclusion secure in his mind, he headed out the dorm and off to find   
some food for the two of them.  
Abbey quickly got changed. Jed's clothes felt warm and soft   
against her, and she couldn't help but notice that they smelled like   
him, too. She hugged herself, trying to drink all of the scent in.   
She turned on the radio in the room, where she found the station set   
to classical music. How typical of Jed, she mused to herself. But,   
instead of immediately switching the channel, she decided to allow   
herself the chance to listen to beautiful strings and horns. "O.k.,   
maybe this isn't so bad, after all," she said aloud.  
She looked around the room, knowing that she probably   
shouldn't be snooping, but wanting to see how Jed lived on a   
day-to-day basis. He wasn't the neat freak she had expected, which   
was a relief. She looked on his desk and saw the stacks of textbooks   
and papers. "Unbelievable. He really does live for study," she said.  
Above his desk, on the wall, was a makeshift bulletin board.   
On it was a calendar, full of due dates and other important events   
(birthdays and various other special days). Of course, there were the   
postcards from Jenny and Leo. Then, Abbey spotted her last letter   
posted on the lower right hand corner of the board. Directly beneath   
that, on the desk, was a leather-bound folder. Glancing around, as   
though afraid of being caught, Jenny took in a breath and opened the   
folder. Inside, she found every letter she had sent to him, including   
the first note she gave him at the train station. She smiled at the   
care he gave to her writings, which made her feel all the more worse   
for what had just happened.  
She walked over to Jed's bed and sat down on it. She scolded   
herself for acting like such an ice queen. But, she was determined to   
stick to the promise she made to herself: Jed had to make up his own   
mind about what to do with his future; she couldn't take that choice   
away from him, no matter how much she wanted to. She hadn't wanted to   
let love in again because she was afraid of getting hurt, and she was   
afraid that this time, she was heading down that exact destination.  
A while later, Jed blew into the room. He put the bags of   
food down on the table by the door. His back was to her as he tried   
to leave as much of the snow in the hallway as he could.  
"Man, it's getting cold out there!" Jed exclaimed. "It's a   
good thing I went out when I did. It's really coming down out there   
now!" Still facing away from Abbey, he pulled off his wet coat and   
boots and shook them off as hard as he could. "I managed to find a   
place that would set us up with the traditional fixings: turkey,   
stuffing, the works. I even got us cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie!"  
Abbey just sat on the bed and smiled widely, in spite of   
herself. Seeing him all wet, rumpled and disheveled like this made   
him all the more endearing. "Damn it all to hell!" she thought to   
herself.  
After taking off the last layer of clothing that he could and   
still not cause any embarrassment to himself or to Abbey, he peeked   
inside the bags. "Wow, this smells great. Are you ready to eat? You   
must be starving!" At that moment, Jed turned around and saw Abbey on   
his bed, in his clothes. He was certain that his jaw must have hit   
the ground. Never did he think that a t-shirt and sweats were a form   
of lingerie. But, the way the material softly covered her body, Jed   
was sure that he would never look at those clothes in the same way   
again.  
"Yes, Jed, I am starving," Abbey said with a drop-dead smile.

TBC in "Love is Only Sleeping"


End file.
